The Irish Goodbye - An Origin Story

This column originally appeared on Gallagher’s Irish Celtic Corner. gallagherpdx.substack.com

Leaving a gathering early without making a fuss by thanking the hosts is something I’ve been doing for years. I only learned recently there’s a name for that.

The Irish Goodbye.

Who among you hasn’t had the urge to just leave the party, pub, reception or event? Forget the long goodbye, just disappear. That’s the ticket.

Rude? Realistic?

Obviously, you can’t pull it off when the gathering is small. Up to a dozen guests and you’re stuck. Not coming back to the table after dinner would be very rude. But if it’s not a sit down and there are more than a dozen guests, it’s game on.

Let’s be real. Who wants you to stick around when you’d rather be gone?

It’s an acceptable practice but why is it named after an entire race? Parties wouldn’t be much fun in Ireland if everybody was plotting how to leave without anyone knowing.

Why The IRISH Goodbye

There are theories out there about the racial branding of the stealthy departure. They are not the answer but here they are.

*It’s called that because some Irish drink too much and would just as soon the hosts not know. NOT. Such a sad and silly stereotype.

*It’s called that because Irish welcomes can take so long no one wants to repeat the process at the end of the night. NOT.

*Could it called that because when Irish people still took drink at public places, everyone knew everyone else at the pub and to say farewell to them all would take feckin’ forever. Better to activate the Irish Goodbye. NO WAY.

There is a bit of truth in all three of those theories, but here’s the real reason.

Lots of Irish people are Catholic. Same with those of the Irish Diaspora. Going to Mass on Sundays used to be automatic. Staying for the whole service wasn’t.

In the Catholic Mass there are three acts. Act One - Opening prayer to the Gospel/Homily. Act Two – Apostles Creed to Communion. Act Three - The Irish Goodbye.

You see, technically your obligation to attend Mass had been fulfilled. And that last ten minutes or so was mostly waiting for everyone to return from Communion. So, you went straight from the altar to the vestibule after receiving the Host, skipped the Closing Prayer and instead said The Irish Goodbye.

That this explanation has been lost to time has something to do with an indisputable fact: Far, far fewer Irish Catholics here and in Ireland are attending Mass these days. Nine out of ten Catholics in Ireland and Irish American Catholics went to Sunday Mass in 1964. Now it’s fewer than three in ten. Now that’s an Irish Goodbye.